No Ordinary Love...

I wasn't going to do this, but I can't think of a more cathartic way to get through the rest of this day.  It was a mere three years ago that my late wife, LeAnn, passed away.  It was sudden, unexpected, and completely devastating.  One minute, we were talking about her, her mom and the youngest going to visit the middle daughter who was due any minute with her first child.  I guess, in a way, it was good that she hadn't left that night to go because when she had the heart attack, if they had gone, they would have been on the road, and all three could have been in an accident and the outcome could have been worse.  So, I guess, for that I am truly thankful.  But, that is the only positive to come out of this tragedy.  

Many of you were never fortunate enough to meet LeAnn.  But, for those of you who had, you know that she made me a better person.  She was a beautiful lady, not just in physical beauty, but in inner beauty.  She always gave of herself, without regards to the situation.  She was always there for her girls, no matter what the situation called for, no matter where they were.
 This is where I started to become a better person.  These situations tended to cause problems between us, basically, because I would be a selfish ass at times.  She taught me to be able to give of myself for others, and not to worry so much about what would happen to me.  I'd always thought I was like that, but looking back, I was always concerned about how it made me look.  That is, when family is not involved.  There is nothing that will stop me from helping my family, no matter what.  

Not that my family, including her and the girls, always saw eye-to-eye, either.  There were some rocky times for us and certain members of my family, both blood and adopted, if you will.  There was a rift so large that it caused constant stress on a lot of my family, including my parents.  The what, how, why, etc., isn't important.  What is, though, is that I missed out on some important things in my family's life.  For that, I apologize, although it wasn't entirely our fault.  But, that is in the past, and best forgotten.  There are many facets of our marriage that a lot of my friends and family are not privy to, and it will stay that way.  Suffice it to say, we weren't a perfect couple.  We had our ups and our downs, but what was most important, to me anyway, is that we were getting through it together.  We had come through some very rough times, and we were on what seemed to be a path of forgiveness and rebuilding our lives together.  

I know she would not want me to pine away my days for her.  And, I've done my best not to do that.  I have had a couple of serious relationships since her passing, but they were for naught.  Mind you, the women involved are very beautiful and in no way did I compare them to LeAnn, but I found myself trying to do to/for them what I was unable to do for her.  That wasn't fair to either of them, and was the basic reason for not continuing the relationships.  I was trying to be something I wasn't, and I was the reason for the break ups, not those beautiful, smart women.  

Well, that's about it, except I'm going to share what I called the third happiest day of my life.  It's a picture from our honeymoon trip we took to New York City.  It wasn't my first time there, but it was LeAnn's and she fell in love with the Big Apple.  

She wasn't just my wife, either, my friends.  She was my best friend, my confidant, my Sacred Love.  She was, is and always will be the best part of me and my life.  And, just as the title of this post states, we had no Ordinary Love.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you all.

Peace, Love and Karma to you all!